Tuesday, December 13, 2011

'Tis the Season: Holiday Sing-Alongs for Penn State

Sing along with abridged versions some old favorites, reflecting on the bizarro-tragic turn of events for Penn State

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer

You know JoePa and Spanier, and Joyner and Curley,
Franco and LaVar, McQueary and Schultz-ey,
But do you recall
The most infamous Lion of all?
Jerry, the red-handed Lion
had a very wicked brain.
And if you ever met him
you would even say insane.
All of the other Lions
used to keep him at arm's length.
Yet they always let sick Jerry
inside Lasch for fitness and strength (workouts)
Then one tragic autumn day
the Grand Jury presentment said:
"Jerry with your hair so white,
you're going to jail for many nights"
Then only the media loved him
as they shouted out with glee,
Jerry the red-handed Lion,
you'll go down in infamy!
(And drag Penn State with you)

The 12 Days of Christmas
On the twelfth day of Christmas, Sandusky gave to thee ...

  • Twelve sordid counts against him (plus 40),
  • Eleven (thousand) Old Main vigil-ers,
  • Ten alleged victims accusing,
  • Nine million-plus THON dollars overshadowed,
  • Eight recruits reconsidering (at least),
  • Seven stages of grief (or denial?),
  • Six (hundred thousand) Penn Staters suffering,
  • Five (hundred thousand) dollars raised for RAINN
  • "Four quarters" of legal fighting promised (nooooo!), 
  • Three neverending investigations launched, 
  • Two damaged media vehicles
  • And a waived preliminary hearing in Bellefonte

Santa Claus Is Coming To Town
You better watch out, you better not cry, you better not pout,
I'm telling you why:
Sandusky's taking State College down
He made his list,
Abused it 52 times (allegedly)
There's no doubt he's naughty, not nice.
Sandusky has destroyed children's lives (allegedly)
He abused when they were sleeping (allegedly),
He abused when they were awake (allegedly)
We know he's been sooo bad, not good (allegedly)
So plead out for goodness sake!

You better watch out, you better not cry, you better not pout,
I'm telling you why:
Sandusky's taking PSU down

Frosty the Snowman
Jer-ry the phony, was a jolly happy soul,
With denial and an vile heart,
And a charity founded on fraud.
Jer-ry the phony was The Second Mile saint,
He was made of gold but the children know
what he did when they were all alone.
There must have been a door open in
Lasch Building that night.
For when McQueary walked inside,
Well, what did he actually see?
Oh, Jer-ry the phony
Whatever happened to your soul?
And the children say he could laugh
And play, just not the same as you and me.

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